Quick-tempered individuals react irritably to unpleasant situations, which subsequently often causes problems for them. As soon as they once offend someone’s dignity, they lose that person’s confidence, which is then very difficult to earn back. Whether you have a problem with explosiveness more or less frequently, you should know that we all choose – in both personal and private life – how we react to certain situations and people. Even though it may appear that we react automatically, this is not completely true. If we become aware of what triggers our explosiveness, we can work with it and gradually learn to react with more detachment and without emotions. The ten steps on the journey towards becoming calmer were described by Forbes.com.
1. Find the triggers of your explosions. First of all, become aware of which behaviors drive you insane.
2. Watch how your body reacts to these triggers. Write down the physical manifestations that precede your explosions so that they can serve as warning signals for you.
3. Consider what you will achieve with your explosions. Maybe you think that this is how you’ll finally close a certain matter, or how you’ll give someone a piece of your mind, etc.
4. Consider whether it’s worth it. Think about the consequences of your explosions, such as hurt feelings, creation of an atmosphere of fear or loss of personal or professional trustworthiness.
5. Think about possibilities of how to calm down. Everybody has something different that works for them. Some people prevent explosions by repeating “just stay calm”, others go for a walk.
6. Make a public declaration. If you have a real problem with explosions and want to deal with it, speak about it publicly. Then your resolve may be long-lasting.
7. Actively involve others. Ask your employees or family members to think about what they would like to change about themselves. If people around you are dealing with how to change their behaviors, they will have more understanding for you.
8. Ask how successful you are. Ask the people around you to give you feedback about how you’re managing to improve.
9. Forget grievances from the past and ask the people around you to do the same. Do not bring up the past, go forward.
10. Consciously apply the new behavior pattern. If you slide back into your old habits, ask the people around you to point their finger at you.
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