What if as a manager, you have to supervise someone who is an excellent worker, but you cannot stand him? Sooner or later, almost every manager asks this question. If you find yourself in this situation, then you should know that you don't have to love all the members of your team. It would be easier if you could only work with people you like. However, liking everyone is not necessary and could eventually damage you, your team, and your company. That is at least what Amy Gallo, author of popular management tips on the Harvard Business Review website writes about in her article entitled How to Manage Someone You Do not Like.
Gallo points out the fact that managers can work very effectively with people they would never invite to their house for a visit. Professionalism and especially work results are more important than liking somebody. Every manager should know that it is dangerous to treat people unfairly based on his personal antipathy. So how to manage someone you don't like?
Do not blame yourself
Do not place the blame on yourself for not liking all your subordinates. In fact, it is worse to like them too much than not enough. You need people with different opinions and who are not afraid to defend their ideas.
Change your attitude
Do not waste time thinking about how annoying the particular employee is. Rather focus on your feelings and ask yourself these questions. Is the problem really in the employee, or does he remind you of someone else? Do you see characteristics you do not like of yourself in him. Does he belong to a group of people you have had conflicts with? Changing your attitude is much easier than changing the behavior of others. Concentrate on remaining objective and calm.
Notice the positives
If we don't like somebody, we tend to focus exclusively on the negative qualities. Even the most annoying employee, however, has some positive traits. So focus on what the employee does well and how he helps the team succeed.
Do not evaluate the employee based on your biases
Always ask yourself whether you are evaluating all your team members according to the same criteria. If you are not sure whether you are biased against someone just because you don't like him, consult another manager who knows the employee's work. You can also ask the employee directly about his perception of your evaluation.
Work more closely
You might think that spending more time with someone you don't like is not a good idea. That however, is a mistake. The more time you spend together, the more you can get used to each other and learn to see something positive about each other. You never know what might develop. A person you like today may become untrustworthy tomorrow and vice versa.
-kk-