Answering this question is not so simple. The roles of a manager, as a leader who is a role model for others, and as a colleague who builds friendships, can be tricky. A career consultant Jennifer Winter has recently published an intriguing article, on The Daily Muse website, recommending three useful pieces of advice on how to make friends at work and still maintain the position of a manager.
1. Stay casual
Sometimes, you might feel a bit lonely at the top, especially when you see your team members heading to lunch or scheduling an evening program. Forging friendships can be comforting for a manager, however, it is necessary to maintain a certain distance.
If you are in a managerial role you may have a tendency to "please" your new subordinates. Of course, you wish they like you, this is natural. But imagine a situation where you suddenly find yourself in a position (and it will definitely happen) when you must lead, promote policy, discuss performance, conduct annual reviews and so on. Your employees may be confused, when their friendly colleague suddenly became an intransigent manager.
Keep informal relationships casual. Choose casual moments or events to show a friendly gesture, but try to limit it, e.g., to a short funny story. Thus you maintain relationships with your team, while not losing your leader’s face.
2. Friendship is a long-term commitment
There may come time when you want to break this rule and take the relationship with an employee to the next level, friendship. In some cases, you can manage it. However, this situation can backfire on you damn quickly.
If you and your team just did a great job, you surely want to properly celebrate. You have already participated in some informal events, so you invite the whole team to a bar for happy hour after work. Then friendships may begin to grow. Anyway, soon you find that just as your friendship grows, the job performance of these people decreases.
Friendship must build over a long time, rather wait for a period before forming a friendship. Then you will know you have chosen someone who actually proves to be a decent person.
3. Prepare a crisis scenario
Despite the above tips your friendship with colleagues might fail. It is therefore wise to prepare for this situation in advance. Try to discuss any possible embarrassing or catastrophic situation that might arise with a colleague with whom you plan to be a friend. Can you think of a crisis scenario? Discuss openly all situations that may harm your or his position. Moreover, thanks to this you may be able to recognize and avoid disasters before they happen.
Is your workplace as friendly and respectful and perfectly choreographed or are you dancing bear steps into the abyss?
-bn-