Managers are often criticized because of their unwillingness to provide feedback. Many managers, however, realize how important feedback is and try to share it with their subordinates as often as possible. The problem is that employees do not want to listen.
Employees who should be listening to your feedback either become immediately defensive or try to avoid the feedback at all costs. It also often happens that they listen to you, nod after everything you say, but do nothing to change their behavior. What should you do in this situation? Stop talking only about performance and talk with them about how they can (or rather can't) receive feedback. Harvard Business Review published some practical tips.
Clarify the rules of feedback
Your people need to know that providing feedback is a normal part of your job. At the same time, however, you should explain to them that receiving feedback is part of their job. Emphasize what impact resistance or ignoring feedback can have on the team, the entire company as well as their own personal reputation and career.
Ask questions
Do not assume that employees see their own behavior in the same way as you. For example, when you start a sentence with: "Whenever I give you feedback, you only answer in monosyllables and ignore me ..." the employee may be surprised, because he does not realize he does it. For better results, you should ask a question and let the person know you want to hear his opinion. For example, you could ask: "What do you think of my feedback?" Try to find out how you may be contributing to your employees refusing your feedback.
Beware of negative evaluations
Try to maintain neutral language and avoid evaluative expressions which may provoke negative feelings such as guilt. For example, do not say: "Whatever I tell you, you always avoid eye contact ...". A better solution is to say: "I noticed that when listening to my feedback, you mostly looked at the ground. I would like to know what you think about."
Share a personal experience
Tell employees about your own experience when somebody gave you feedback that you ignored. Talk about the consequences and what you learned.
Agree on a change
Describe the change you want to see in the employee's behavior. At the same time, give him an opportunity to express his opinions about the proposed change. If there is not enough time at the moment, arrange an appointment later. Discuss the situation in detail and agree on solutions. Then pay attention when the employee begins to apply the new behavior in practice. Once that happens, praise him right away.
-kk-