I'm not afraid of anything. Failure is not an option for me. I can do everything because I'm the best. We often hear these phrases from people we consider to be very mentally strong and successful. In fact, however, these are often mentally weak individuals who only outwardly pretend to be tough and that nothing can defeat them. In the short term, such playacting may help. In the long run, however, it only leads to health problems, including premature death.
Psychologist Amy Morin, the author of the worldwide bestselling book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do, writes about "acting tough" in an interesting article in Psychology Today. She also offers the following list of factors you can use to assess whether you're only acting tough and still have to work a lot on your psychological strength.
1. Hiding uncertainty
Mentally strong people do not waste time hiding their weaknesses. They focus on how to improve instead. They can admit they can't do something and work on how to learn it.
2. Refusing failure
Even if you constantly repeat to yourself that failure is not a possibility, you will ultimately fail. The fact that you only follow tried and tested ways to do your work won't help you. Mentally strong people perceive failure as a lesson on their path to success. They keep on trying new things and learn from their mistakes.
3. Acting in front of people
The so-called tough guys focus very much on how they are perceived by the people around them. Mentally strong people, however, don't have to prove anything to anyone, only to themselves. They are not afraid to ask for help if they need it.
4. Repressing emotions
People who act tough like to show anger. On the other hand, they tend to hide their sadness, fear and even excitement. Mentally strong people do not ignore their emotions, they monitor them. They are well aware of how different emotions affect their behavior.
5. Ignoring pain
Tough guys basically perceive their body as a machine that can handle pain. Mentally tough people, however, do not ignore either physical or psychological pain just to impress others.
6. Feeling invincibility
Healthy self-esteem is definitely beneficial. Acting tough, however, leads to misunderstanding your real abilities. Mentally strong people perceive possible obstacles and can estimate their real potential.
7. Trying to control others
Tough guys feel a certain power over others. They think they have to prove they are in control of everything. This leads to micromanagement and unrealistic demands. Mentally strong people control themselves and try to behave so that everybody has enough space to achieve better results.
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