I'm sorry, but...

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Managers have already accepted that an apology is not a weakness. It may be a great help for the future. When people see you can admit your mistakes and want to correct them, they will give you another chance. Then it's up to you to prove you aren't just all talk, but that you will put your words into action.

However, there is one thing you should know - a bad apology is worse than no apology. Bad apologies only reinforce what they are trying to defuse. How can you avoid these kinds of apologies? According to ChiefExecutive.net, 90 percent of poor apologies meet the same criteria. Stick to the following recommendations, apologize briefly and move on without unnecessary problems.

1. Omit the word "if"

Your original intentions aren't important. Simply accept the fact you did something that hurt others. Beware of statements such as: "I'm sorry if I offended anybody."

2. Omit the word "but"

Saying "but" indicates you are trying to give up a part of your responsibility for the problem. Don't say: "I'm sorry, but I didn't start it." or "I'm sorry, but I didn't think this could be a problem."

3. Don't say "maybe"

"I apologize for my remark; you may have misunderstood." Saying "maybe" is similar to "but". It indicates your desire to get rid of your responsibility and point the finger at somebody else. Realize that the situation you're in isn't hypothetical, but real.

4. Speak for yourself

Don't try to excuse that something happened without your intervention. An example of a bad apology might be "I'm sorry that you have been hurt." Say: "I'm sorry that I hurt you."

5. Don't fake understanding

Apologies often include phrases like: "I know how you feel ...". However, you can't know how others really feel. That only sounds arrogant. First you should ask how they feel.

6. Don't say what you didn't want to do

It's very likely that you didn't want to cause a problem. Others, however, aren't interested in your intentions, but in the consequences of your actions. Omit statements such as: "I didn't want this to happen."

7. Don't say what you would like to do

"I would like to apologize." isn't the same as "I am sorry." If you really want to apologize, don't announce your apology. Apologize straight out.

-kk-

Article source ChiefExecutive.net - US website for top managers
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