Travis Bradberry, an American expert on emotional intelligence, described the following behaviors which identify emotional manipulators in a recent article on Entrepreneur.com.
1. They make you feel insane
They are very good liars. They insist on having or not having done certain things even if it's not true. They argue that something didn't happen even if you think it happened. The result is you start feeling that you can't trust your own senses.
2. They don't do what they say
They tell you what you want to hear but do what they want. They express support for you, but their actions show that they think your demands are unreasonable.
3. They strengthen your guilt
Whatever you do, they can make you feel guilty for not doing it right. You're always the bad guy in your relationship.
4. They play the victim
They never do anything wrong. Failure is always other people's fault, mostly yours. They can't accept responsibility.
5. They play on emotions
They show you how sensitive and vulnerable they are very quickly, and then expect you to do the same. They want to make you feel remorse or even guilty for how they feel.
6. They affect other people's moods
They are masters in getting others involved in their emotions, whether positive or negative. Others then begin to feel responsible for their mood and try to improve it.
7. They pretend interest in order to complain
They actively ask for voluntary tasks or offer to help. Soon, however, they start to protest that they have to do the hardest and most unpleasant tasks. They make you feel like they want to help, but all you do is take advantage of them.
8. They always have worse problems
No matter what your problems are, they will never be as serious as the problems of emotional manipulators. You have nothing to complain about.
9. They know your weaknesses and are ready to exploit them
They know your emotions, such as being afraid making of a difficult presentation. However, instead of supporting you, they use this knowledge to make you feel worse. For example, they start telling you what a demanding audience is out there waiting for you and how you will be judged immediately.
If you want to avoid manipulation, show the manipulators that you see through their game and are not willing play it. Don't be emotional in dealing with them, stick to the facts. Maintain emotional distance and you will see more clearly how to set the boundaries of mutual communication. If a manipulator oversteps the boundaries, remind him.
"Nobody can manipulate you without your own consent and cooperation," says Travis Bradberry.
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