Negotiation tips from a pro (1/3): You need clarity and detachment

Negotiating strategist Corey Kupfer, an attorney and the author of a book entitled Authentic Negotiating: Clarity, Detachment, & Equilibrium — The Three Keys to True Negotiating Success & How to Achieve Them, shared some tips in an interview for the website of the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania.

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Is dishonesty present in most negotiations?

Corey claims that there definitely is a certain lack of authenticity or manipulation in many negotiations. The root of it is that when one is learning to negotiate, many workshops focus on game playing. Therefore, people refrain from being authentic. Unfortunately, such an approach rarely works – especially when the negotiations are on a high level.

Be true to yourself

In negotiations, clarity and authenticity play a major role. Being authentic, however, means being authentic not only with others but also with yourself. You need clarity in the sense of knowing what works for you and what doesn’t.

In order to achieve this kind of clarity, both external research and internal work are required. For successful negotiations, you can forget about various tactics and techniques: the most important thing you need to know is what is going to happen to you emotionally.

If your behaviour is controlled by your ego, or your identity prevents you from keeping a hold on your value, you will lose or give away too much in negotiating.

Stay detached

The very best negotiators know their own weaknesses. At the same time, they are able to maintain detachment. They are certainly interested in negotiating a deal but ultimately they have the ability to stay detached as far as the outcome is concerned.

It is important is to keep in mind that if your objectives don’t meet with the objectives of your counterpart, that doesn’t mean one of you is a bad person. So don’t have any hard feelings if this should occur. Don’t involve your ego in the negotiations or become annoyed with the other party. 

Book: 

Kupfer, C.: Authentic Negotiating: Clarity, Detachment, & Equilibrium — The Three Keys to True Negotiating Success & How to Achieve Them; Advantage Media Group, Charleston, South Carolina: 2017 (148 pages)

-jk-

Article source Knowledge@Wharton - the online business analysis journal of the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania
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