Why people succumb to aggressors and how to change this

Is there an aggressor at your workplace? Given our basic strategies for survival, we have an unfortunate tendency to start behaving like the person who is threatening us. So if you spot an aggressor, it is time to act. Otherwise, others will become aggressors too.

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Toxic manager

An article on the website of the INSEAD business school describes how a senior manager never hesitated to criticise anyone in a harsh way. Clearly he was a typical micro-manager. He also stole all the credit for other people’s work. Thus everyone resented him and everyone was constantly nervous because of him. Eventually the morale of the whole organisation suffered.  

Why people identify with an aggressor

Sometimes the toxic behaviour will be copied by other people and the abusiveness will become omnipresent. People who are in a weak position tend to mirror the behaviour of the person who is threatening them. In other words, in order to reduce their own fear, people will start behaving like the aggressor. This psychological defence mechanism allows them to escape from the position of someone being threatened and become the one who is doing the threatening.

How to fight back

When confronted with intimidation, the majority of people just give up. Identification with the aggressor is present in our everyday lives. How to overcome this dysfunctional reaction? The first step is to realise that we are identifying with the aggressor. Then we need to stop rationalising and defending the actions of the aggressor.

What can help?

  • Extensive coaching or therapy explaining the psychological dynamics
  • Creating a support group to support reassurance and a reality check
  • Building up a political network in order to get rid of the toxic manager
  • Making others (including senior managers) aware of the human and financial costs of the manager's aggressive behaviour

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Article source INSEAD Knowledge - INSEAD Business School knowledge portal
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