Dealing with conflicts (1/2): No need to feel ashamed

In any relationship, conflicts are inevitable. So if you think a conflict is bad news for your relationships with others, you are mistaken. What matters is not the fact arguments happen; it is more important how you handle such conflicts and how you communicate during them.

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Conversations during conflicts can be toxic. On the other hand, they can sometimes also be constructive, leading to the solution of problems and a strengthening of the relationship.

Especially if we feel a sense of understanding from our partners when discussing an issue, we may actually end up feeling more satisfied with the relationship than we were before the conflict arose.

Repeating ideas leads to repeated conflicts

If you are insisting on your point of view, you are probably hoping your partner will finally understand if you simply repeat things in a different way. This, however, leads to repeated conflicts, which may not be productive. To avoid having the same conversation over and over again, you should try to gain a wider perspective by changing your point of view and possibly see the whole conflict from a different angle.

First tip: take a break

When we are emotional, it is impossible to think clearly and maintain perspective. When things get heated, we need a 20-30 minute break to give our body time to calm down. Five minutes isn’t enough because such a timespan is too short to achieve the desired effect.

Time the break wisely: don’t just walk away while the other person is saying something they consider important.

Don’t spend the break trying to perfect your argument. Instead, do something relaxing that will distract you from the conflict itself. You might go for a walk, exercise, or listen to some relaxing music. These are the recommendations of the psychologytoday.com website.

-jk-

Article source Psychology Today - a U.S. magazine and online community focused on psychology
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