We may become stuck for years in some unpleasant situation. According to former US naval officer Jason Redman, author of "Overcome: Crush Adversity with the Leadership Techniques of America's Toughest Warriors", people respond to adverse events in three ways:
- they are devastated by the event and cannot overcome it
- they fight but eventually accept what happened (most people)
- they turn an unpleasant situation into an opportunity
In his book, Redman describes how he was severely wounded in battle and was virtually certain that if he did nothing, he would die. He knew he had to make every effort to save himself. And he succeeded. Experience shows that in an awkward situation, you simply have to find the strength to take control of your life and focus on defence, or what Redman calls an "overcome mind-set," namely the ability to programme one's mind to overcome an event. According to the author, the best way to achieve this is through self-discipline.
Get off at point X
Identify the problem and find a new direction. You must REACT immediately: recognise the current reality, evaluate your position, assess possible escape routes, choose a direction and take action. Movement is the key to exiting point X. Once you have done this, it's easy to look back and compare the current position with the previous one you don't want to return to (and won't return to thanks to strength of will and determination). You have to build on that.
If one may speak of any advantage of an unpleasant life event, it is usually clarity that shows you what really matters in life. A crisis crystallises your thinking and you are clear about where you stand.
Redman believes there are five areas of life which, when maximised, will help you face any awkward situation as it occurs. The key areas of self-control are:
Physical leadership
Ignoring your physical health means denying the unnecessary risks you are taking. Physical fitness is more than just being strong: it's about having the energy you need to lead. Physical fitness is the foundation on which you will build.
Mental leadership
Mental leadership is built by broadening one's personal perspective, increasing one's knowledge and leaving one's comfort zone. One excellent example of a workout is a sports activity that requires balance, such as paddling, surfing or cycling. Such activity is an ideal mental workout because you use the muscles on both sides of the body, which means your brain uses both hemispheres.
Emotional leadership
How we work with our emotions is a personal choice. Controlling our emotions begins with understanding their extent and the patterns we usually fall into when reacting to something.
Social leadership
In the most difficult moments, you often have only your close friends and family around you. If you have not taken the time to build these relationships, it will be much more difficult for you to get out of the awkward situation in which you find yourself.
Spiritual leadership
Spiritual leadership means recognising you are a unique part of a much larger world and you are investing time and resources to improve your community and the world. If you struggle with this principle internally, gradually learn gratitude. Gratitude forces you to look outside, to focus on something that goes beyond your personal problems.
If you are not able to cultivate these five areas, you will probably have a major problem leading other people and leading by example.
With a new approach to life, you can break down barriers in your mind and move forward without worrying. It's all about the ability to create perspective and being grateful for what life brings.
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