If you've ever found yourself in that awkward situation where a team member has behaved rudely, here are some tips on how to deal with it.
Clear agenda and moderator
Discussing at a distance in large numbers, where everyone is given the chance to speak without interruption and the conversation flows fluently towards the goal, is a real art. For such a discussion to be genuinely productive and not end in stalemate, there needs to be a clear agenda with anticipated outcomes, a discussion leader, and a team of people who realise not everyone wants to express an opinion in advance or during the proceedings; some will prefer a brief comment at the end.
A moment of silence
This is quite simple: if the discussion is going in the wrong direction, pause and maintain a moment of silence. This will immediately reduce the tension in the group. You can also choose a specific mascot for such mass discussions: a quiet plush toy, which you always turn to in similar situations, or simply place it in front of the camera. Humour helps break down passions. When it is also an agreed signal that it is time to move the topic forward, everyone in the group will count on it.
Understanding
If someone is brazen enough to be rude, a direct confrontation will only escalate the situation. Try to understand the anger, but in a non-confrontational way. At the same time, make it clear that this form of expression is unacceptable. So speak calmly and avoid being trapped in a corner. If this does not defuse the situation, try to divert attention away from the aggressor and pay more attention to their victim.
Bias factors
Rudeness is about perception, context and culture. If you feel someone is being rude, you should try to understand why. There are different ways of providing feedback between cultures and the feedback label will vary greatly depending on whether you are talking to a colleague or client from the USA, Europe or Asia. Moreover, virtual meetings lack many visual stimuli and subtleties associated with body language and eye contact. Too often, participants cannot look into the lens and then into your eyes. This in itself can cause numerous misunderstandings. Keep calm, show empathy and breathe slowly. If some behaviour gives cause for concern, first consider whether some bias factors are at work.
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