Most managers who have reached the highest positions in their careers would not achieve their success without mentors. And the mentors didn't have to be formal mentors in a mentoring program. We often don't realize that we have a mentor until we look back on our career or until we become somebody's mentors ourselves. Then we begin to recall situations when someone helped us instead of dismissing us or showed us a way we had not seen ourselves. Mentoring can be a very powerful tool for career development provided that we know and follow three rules.
1. Don't look for a mentor, but for a relationship
Mentees have the best relationships with their mentors when they don't call themselves a mentor and a mentee. They form a relationship similar to business partnership where two partners can help each other through their experience. If you need a mentor, start developing natural relationships with people in your surroundings who can give you something that you would like to learn.
2. Mentoring is a two-way relationship
Be prepared not only to take but also to give. Pay attention to what your mentor is interested in and provide it to him. You can offer a completely new perspective on what he does as well as he can offer a different perspective on what you do. Take your discussions as opportunities for self-reflection.
3. It's not only about giving/receiving advice, but about using the advice in practice
The circle closes up only when mentees inform their mentors how they used their advice in practice and what the result was. Both the parties will learn about what works and how to proceed. If this last step is missing, crucial feedback is missing as well as the possibility of reflection.
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