They get angry easily, it is hard to ask them for something, they complain, feel sorry for themselves, and are suspicious... Why is it so hard to get on well with those people? It is not the fear of provoking them when you talk to them, but the fear of their reaction which makes you angry. But where is a will, there is a way, as the Smart Blogs website says. They have prepared a guide on how to deal with troublemakers.
How do you recognize them?
Difficult people may seem like they are caring and cooperative, but only until they get what they want. They like to get more than they give and demand things they do not deserve, unlike people who have a healthy attitude towards others. Their actions unsettle many people and cause anger, fear and other strong emotions. In addition, these people are beyond any strategies that build cooperation and empathy. Once you identify a troublemaker and adjust what you expect from this person, you are one step closer to learning how to deal with them without being surprised by their irrational behavior in certain situations.
Hint: It does not matter what the person says, pause briefly before you respond. It is possible that the troublemaker's unpleasant behavior will escalate in the silence, but you are able to keep an emotional distance and stay calm.
What is the answer?
After a while, when you have calmed down, it is time to reply. What will you say?
1. "Hm?" This response gives a clear signal that you did not understand the content and meaning of what other person said. It works when someone says something completely off-topic and behaves condescendingly at same time; your response will embarrass him.
2. "Do you really believe what you are saying?" Use a calm and neutral tone of voice. Do not expect the person to admit that he is wrong. Rather, you can expect that he will get angry and leave, which is good for you because you spare your nerves.
3. In cases when you are looking for another compelling argument in negotiations, try this: "I see that this solution is good from your point of view. Please show me what benefits it can bring me too." If you do not get a satisfactory answer, you can always refuse because you cannot see the positives.
4. "Sure, I will help you if you..." This phrase works perfectly on those troublemakers who constantly come to you for help. Remember, something for something...
5. "I'm going to stop listening to you because this conversation does not seem to be heading towards any sort of conclusion." It works on “bullies” whose weapons are words and tone of voice. If someone constantly puts pressure on you, it is better to stop the conversation. Give a "bully" a clear signal that, he has to act differently if he wants to arrive at a solution. E.g.: "I am sorry, but this style of discussion is exhausting. If you still want to discuss it, find another way."
How do you manage negotiation with difficult people?
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