Are you successful and yet still feel that you do not deserve the benefits your career or personal life bring you? Then you likely suffer from the "impostor syndrome", when you deceive yourself rather than the others around you. The Business 2 Community website has prepared an article offering some tips that should help you and other people get know yourself and stop apologizing for your well-deserved success.
In particular, successful women in business are the most vulnerable group who suffer from an almost pathological inability to internalize their own progress and to adopt them as their own. They describe the evidence their success as mere luck, chance or the result of misleading the people around them into thinking that they are better and smarter than others. Do you know someone like that? Is it you?
How do you get out of this mindset? The method that is used in this particular case is called cognitive behavioral therapy. Using this, the person learns to better understand his value and identify erroneous assumptions that often lead to completely groundless fears and feelings of concealed incompetence. We will not discuss this method in detail, this is the job of a psychotherapist. Rather, we will advise you on some helpful steps to cope with your own success and help yourself or someone else in their career and life.
1. Talk, talk, talk
In particular, younger women in business have to learn to express their opinions and to contribute actively to discussions or initiate it themselves. If you have someone like that in the team who is capable, but not conscious of that fact, encourage him (her). Be aware of the participation of these people in meetings and presentations, and try to turn the discussion over to them, or ask him (her) directly for the next presentation. A good way is to let these people talk about things they understand in round tables, where everyone has the opportunity to talk. This is for you, too, if you suffer from the same syndrome. Talk, talk, talk... and initiate opportunities to communicate.
If you feel that the employee holds back and maybe keeps some feelings to himself, initiate the conversation. Start gently. Help the other person to talk about his concerns and expectations. Sometimes just sharing thoughts aloud helps you get a better perspective and not only see things in a negative way.
2. Monitor the workload
Affected women (or men) often tend to perform multiple tasks in a more challenging pace than those around them. They always feel like they have to demonstrate something to someone (especially to themselves) and go beyond normal expectations. The results may perhaps be amazing, and if you are an employer, you must be happy. However, it is not healthy for the person at all. Keep track of above average performers and do not let them feel frustrated or burned out from working.
If you are facing a similar situation, it is important to understand that it is not fine when your body or mental health suffers. Talk to your supervisor, and compare your and your company's priorities and values, and set the boundaries together.
3. Document achievements
If someone of your team, or even you, have a problem internalizing your accomplishments, awards or recognition from another person usually has no meaning. The solution is to create a list of achievements and let the author, if possible, objectively evaluate these results, as if it is a review of someone else's work. You will support honest self-assessment and the ability to see things objectively. These are after all important business and managerial skills, right?
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