What should you do if you suspect a colleague is lying to you? "It depends on the type of lie, and the type of liar, you’re dealing with," says recognized expert in psychometric testing Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic, professor of organizational psychology at University College London and vice president of Hogan Assessment Systems. In an article entitled How and why we lie at work, published on the Harvard Business Review website, he explains that frequent liars have two common characteristics, first, lying is not unethical for them and, second, they (unlike occasional liars) lie even when they don't feel under pressure.
How to deal with a systematic liar
Systematic liars have strong social skills, great imagination, a high IQ and emotional intelligence. All this helps them to manipulate others while remaining credible. The problem is similar to the people who are always late. The best thing we can do is to identify their typical behavior patterns and plan our own behavior accordingly. If you want to make it clear that they should stop lying to you, catch them while lying and show that you're not as stupid as they think. Try to focus on their lies regarding objective facts such as promises that they will complete a certain task in a certain time.
Who is the occasional liar
Occasional liars have a different psychological profile. They usually lie because of fear and uncertainty. Their insecurity, however, paradoxically raises when they lie because they start to worry of being exposed. They typically lie in order to exaggerate their participation in an achievement, to gain higher status or to create closer relationships with others. "The best way to deal with insecure liars is to make them feel accepted," says Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic. "Show them that you value them for who they are, rather than who they would like to be."
A lie is not always bad
We should remember that people often alter reality to their own benefit, not because they want to lie, but because they can't see or don't want to see the truth. We should therefore help them see things from different angles. Not every lie is immoral. A selfishly presented truth may hurt more than a lie.
When we find that someone lied to us, we get upset. We feel deceived and tend to react emotionally. Confrontational reactions may, however, backfire. "A better approach is to politely demonstrate to the liar that they have failed to deceive you. Or just pretend to have fallen for it, which effectively means to deceive them back," concludes Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic.
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