Self-protective behaviour is often an obstacle in mutual communication. Yes, you should defend your rights and always state your opinion when it is important; if, however, your defensive behaviour becomes a barrier to effective collaboration, you should try to recognise and eliminate it. An article at theleadershiphub.com suggests defensive behaviour often takes one of the following forms.
1. Rationalisation
Starting statements and comments about yourself and your work with “Yes, but …” should be a warning signal. If you always feel a need to justify what you have done and why you have done it, you are probably uncertain of yourself and looking for excuses. Sometimes you should not get upset and try to explain and defend your actions or plans. Instead, you can just take on board the view of your colleague - and that’s all.
2. Inability to state one’s needs
Giving in and trying to be cooperative, when in reality you should be negotiating in order to get what you need and want, is another example of self-protective behaviour. Then you start calling other people selfish and manipulative because you feel victimised by them. Another risk is that you won’t accomplish what you have promised, which can make it difficult for other people to do their own work. You need to assert yourself and not chicken out.
3. Avoiding conflict
It is not good always to keep your feelings and opinions to yourself. Typically retreating inside yourself and remaining silent on the surface is a mistake: you avoid meeting people who make you feel doubtful and you end up denying the existence of a problem when there really is one.
4. Passive aggression
When someone has authority, you oppose it. You refuse to be helpful when you know they need your help and you leave them working harder than they would need to, had you provided assistance. You also shift the focus from yourself and claim that other people are the cause of your feelings and behaviour. For example, if you are late it is not because you missed the bus but because the mean bus driver didn’t wait for you.
-jk-