Twenty years ago, when e-mail was a new communication tool, managers started to ask whether e-mail was a suitable tool for dealing with sensitive issues such as performance problems or salaries. The answer used to be: "No way." However, as virtual communication becomes an increasingly stronger norm, managers don't ask whether they can have sensitive conversations by e-mail, but how they should do it. This reasoning opens a recent interesting article on the Harvard Business Review website written by by Joseph Grenny.
At the same time, however, Grenny points out that e-mail should still not be considered the most appropriate channel to address sensitive issues. The fact that we can't see the other person, and especially his or her face, still puts us in a delicate position. When we look into each other's eyes, we feel much more accountable and we can estimate the degree of the other person's trust. Since e-mail lacks this visual aspect, we need to follow certain steps.
1. Consider how well you know each other
If you have known the recipient of your sensitive e-mail for a long time and you are able to predict his reactions, there should be no problem in using e-mail. However, if you do not know each other well, you should always meet them in person, or at least video conference so that you can see and understand each other easier.
2. Express your intentions first
When you decide to send an e-mail and you are not sure whether the recipient will understand clearly, describe your intentions as well as your concerns at the very beginning. Write that you would like to comment on certain things and describe your concerns, but you really care about not being misunderstood. Only then start writing about the issue at hand.
3. Always write sensitive e-mails twice
First, write down the message you want to express. Be as accurate and honest as possible. Then read the text again and imagine the recipient's face. Try to guess how he or she will react to each part of the message. Then edit the e-mail in order to be understood as clearly as possible. You should not misrepresent reality, but express it precisely.
4. Be prepared to change the medium
If you get an emotional response or you feel the recipient has misunderstood, change the channel. If you can't meet in person, at least contact the person by phone. Another e-mail conversation would only worsen the situation, and it makes no sense to continue exchanging e-mails.
What personal experience do you have with e-mail communication? Can e-mail be used to deal with sensitive issues?
Author and books
Joseph Grenny is an American expert on improving corporate performance. His company VitalSmarts has trained hundreds of executives from around the world and initiated a successful series of books on the topic of managing people and companies. Some books written by the team of VitalSmarts consultants Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, David Maxfield, Ron McMillan and Al Switzler, have been translated into Czech and published by Management Press.
The books include Influencer: The Power to Change Anything (2012), Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High (2013) or Crucial Accountability: Tools for Resolving Violated Expectations, Broken Commitments, and Bad Behavior (2014).
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