We spend most of the day at work. We share tasks, joys and frustrations with our colleagues and it is not surprising that they can become close personal friends. If a colleague is experiencing a difficult personal situation, such as a serious illness of a close friend or relative or a divorce, we often know about it. However, we do not know how to react and how to help him at work.
According to psychcentral.com, we have to find a balance between the support we want to offer and respect for his privacy.
1. Show you are here
Don't overload the colleague who is going through a difficult situation with questions and ask about all the details. Just say that you're sorry to hear about his difficult situation and if he wants, he can turn to you for help or to talk.
2. Don't give advice
Don't try to be a psychologist giving advice. You should only offer support, not express your views on the matter, if the colleague doesn't directly ask you for advice. Ask more generally how he feels and try to be understanding.
3. Offer help in specific ways
Don't ask how you can help. This can be uncomfortable for your colleague. Instead, be proactive and find ways to make his work easier. For example, when you go out for lunch, ask if he wants you to bring him something to eat. When you talk with a business partner, ask if you can arrange something for the colleague as well. These simple gestures will help your colleague and he will not have to feel embarrassed asking you for help.
4. Do not say it will be okay and that the colleague should look to the future
Even good intentions can hurt. Being optimistic, you probably want to show that things will take a turn for the better, but your colleague can interpret it as trying to downplay his problems. Each person copes with personal problems differently and you should respect your colleague's needs. You should show that you're listening and say that you understand how hard it is. You will show your understanding and, at the same time, remain neutral. The colleague will not feel uncomfortable and be more open.
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