We should all strive to be the best at what we do; however, there are certain boundaries we should not cross. Perfectionists are not successful in their lives. Their desire for perfection paralyses their performance and they don't not know the feeling of a job well done. How can you find out whether you only have certain perfectionist tendencies that move you forward, or if you are a real perfectionist who is harming yourself and start doing something about it?
A practical summary of the responses to this question was published in an article on the Psychology Today website written by psychologist Amy Morin. She based the article on her experience as psychotherapist which she also described in her book titled 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do. The book has been translated into 21 languages, including Czech: 13 věcí, které psychicky silní lidé nedělají, Bizbooks, 2015).
When to seek professional help
1. You perceive your mistakes as confirmations of your incompetency, rather than as opportunities to learn and grow. This is even true for small mistakes.
2. You do not celebrate your achievements. It is not pleasant for you to admit that you have achieved something. You only feel you were lucky and always mention that you could have done better.
3. You do not feel good about yourself. You are not satisfied with yourself because you lack self-confidence.
4. You demand excellence not only from yourself, but also from others. Your unrealistic demands ruin your interpersonal relationships.
5. You suffer from mental health problems. You experience anxiety, obsessions, depression or eating disorders. You may even think about suicide.
6. You avoid activities you might fail at. You prefer showing what you already know to learning something new.
7. Your constant fear of the future prevents you from feeling satisfaction with your own life.
8. Everything you do takes a very long time. You redo everything again and again. In trying to be perfect, you wind up being ineffective.
9. You spend a lot of your time and energy trying to hide your imperfections. You worry that others will judge you as imperfect.
Book
MORIN, Amy: 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do. New York: HarperCollins, 2014. 272 p.
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