Conflicts arise in all teams, including virtual ones. People who are engaging in a remote conflict, who can't meet face to face to discuss a problem, end up exchanging hateful e-mails, arguing over the phone or completely ignoring each other. Remote conflicts often remain unresolved and damage mutual cooperation. Why is remote conflict resolution so difficult and how should you handle them? The following tips were published on the Harvard Business Review website.
Do not think the worst about your remote colleague
You should realize that you don't know why your colleague behaves the way he does. He is probably not consciously trying to make you angry. If your remote colleague doesn't fulfill his obligations on time or doesn't do exactly what you want, he may not be doing it on purpose. You simply don't know what's behind it.
Do not solve conflicts by e-mail
Most of the communication between remote colleagues is via e-mail. Paradoxically, however, e-mail increases the chance of greater conflicts and misunderstandings. The reason is simple - we tend to understand written text differently from the author. All matters which require both parties to make their views clear, should be resolved over the phone or, better, using a videoconference.
Start with what you have in common
A conversation aimed at resolving the conflict should start by you assuring the other party that you have shared experiences, interests, etc. Ask briefly how the colleagues is and mention how your are.
Listen to the other party's point of view
To resolve a conflict, you should look at it from the other side. Listen carefully to your colleague's explanation of the situation. Then ask him to try to look at the whole issue from your perspective. This will help you find out what you need to improve next time.
Bring in someone else
If you can't resolve the conflict, ask a third party, who is not involved in the conflict for help in finding common ground.
Take advantage of the conflict to strengthen your relationship
Talk with your colleague about how you managed to overcome the current problem. This will give you a shared experience that will shape your common identity.
Meet personally
Prevent future conflicts by visiting the colleague in his office, or inviting him to yours. You will get to know his working environment and related problems better. If you can't meet in person, talk about your working environment and schedule, at least on the phone.
Get to know each other better
Use all possible opportunities to talk informally to each other and learn as much about each other as possible. For example, you may install an instant messenger to exchange short messages during the day. The better you know each other, the better you can work together, even if you can't see each other.
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