One of the basic rules of assertiveness says that if we disagree with something or do not want something, we have the right to say "no" without feeling any guilt. Guilt is legitimate when we hurt someone. However, if our rejection only makes somebody work harder and possibly ask for help somebody else, there is no need to feel guilty.
We should not worry about harsh retribution that will come as a result of our rejection either. The human brain tends to imagine the worst possible situations such as a verbal attack by the person who wanted something from us, or being fired. In reality, however, we should ask what can really happen. Most people will be perfectly reasonable.
How can you express rejection clearly, but also politely? Business Insider described the following options.
1. Offer another kind of help
Even if you don't help the person with what they want from you, you could recommend a helpful book or another expert.
2. Show empathy
Even if you refuse to help, you can show that you understand the person's situation. Express understanding for how hard they work.
3. Explain your reasons
If you say "no" because of your busy work schedule, other obligations or circumstances beyond your control, explain it to them. You can also explain subjective reasons, such as your taste or style, if you think that the person should know.
4. Thank the person
Recognize that they turned to you. Thank them for their trust. "No" sounds much better when you treat others with respect.
5. Stick to your guns
Some people will come to you again and again to try to persuade you to help them. Psychologists call this the broken record technique. However, if you really don't have time or you don't want to help them for other reasons, don't change your "no" to "maybe". Be consistent.
6.You don't have to explain anything
The most advanced technique of expressing rejection is saying "no" with no explanation. However, even this can be said politely. Be kind and speak calmly. You don't have to apologize for anything. Saying "no" directly is more polite in the end than postponing the decision or making promises you can't keep.
-kk-