Managers don't have to like their subordinates

13.3.2017

During their life, everyone meets people who for some reason don't suit them and the workplace is no exception. We can usually handle unpleasant colleagues without problems but what should you do, as a manager, when managing someone you simply can't stand?

First of all, remember that this is a fairly common situation. To solve it, you have to start by making sure you understand why in fact you dislike the person. There are basically two possibilities: the reasons are either work-related or personal.

Managers will usually dislike a subordinate's attitude to work rather than their personality as a whole. Sometimes, however, there is a real conflict of very different personalities and the problem develops on the personal level.

In both cases, it can be helpful to change your thinking and admit that mutual liking is not a prerequisite for successful cooperation.

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Behave professionally

A manager's job is not to like or dislike people; it is to develop the team and help all its members to succeed in their roles.

True leaders can turn their negative feelings towards a subordinate into an advantage. They watch the subordinate's behaviour and learn to recognise what is only a result of poor interpersonal or other skills, and what is a personality trait.

Take different personality traits as a way to achieve greater creativity and better results for the company. Poor communication and work performance should be managed by providing feedback.

Listen

If you have tried to maintain a professional approach but the tension between you and the subordinate persists, talk with the person concerned. Do not expect that subordinates themselves will start such a conversation with you.

Meet face to face. Highlight the employee's strengths, ask what they would like to improve in their job and how they would like to develop further. Listen carefully and show a clear interest in their opinions.

Do not provide feedback on any behaviour you consider negative until it actually occurs.

Be smarter and step back

If the situation does not improve and it is obvious that your antipathy is mutual, you must be the one to step back. Ask the subordinate what you personally can do to make your working relationship better.

First listen and try to understand the whole context from the subordinate's perspective. Leave your own perspective for later.

The point is not to show that you are right: your goal is to find understanding and resolve the situation.

You will never go wrong if you remind your subordinates about your expectations. Talk about what standards of culture, behaviour and performance you expect in your team.

-kk-

Article source Fast Company - leading U.S. magazine and website for managers
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